I AM A CHRISTIAN..yo.

I AM A CHRISTIAN*

When I say..."I'm a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."

I'm whispering "I was lost." Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I'm a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride.

I'm confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say..."I'm a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on

When I say..."I'm a Christian" I'm not bragging of success.

I'm admitting I have failed and need GOD to clean my mess.

When I say..."I'm a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect,

My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say..."I'm a Christian" I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon HIS name.

When I say..."I'm a Christian"

I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner who received GOD'S good grace, somehow.

I AM A CHRISTIAN


~ by Maya Angelou

And thats all that needs to be said about that..unless of course you want to. ...

40 daze

Its about mid-point between the beginning and ending of Lent. Though I am not Catholic, I do embrace Lent. When I was a wee Dre..I went to Catholic school and was schooled in the Catholic religion..i.e. Lent. Its funny, I wanted to be Catholic when I was little, but as I got older, I realzed how restrictive it was and said..."im straight being Presbyterian." hehe.

Anywho, I have given up Cheese (which I LOVE) and all forms of Pop aka Soda. Its been a real struggle..as I am a loser who will eat cheese right from the block..Love those teeth marks as D would say. Anywho..I like to sacrifice the little things that give me pleasure in reference to "the Man Upstairs".

BUT I cannot wait to eat me some MEXICAN FOOD and drink a 6 pack on April 16th!

Peace..

Beauty Marks

St Pattys day. Had a blast with my RedBUll and got my eyes full with gyrating pelvises, g-strings, and green beer.

I love being out and about..just to view the scene. I love watching people interact with one another, how peepz dress, and the craziness that tends to happen when drinks, dancing, and debauchery hit.

anywho....tattos.

Yes I love em.

Yes I have em.

Yes I want more.

I came thisclose to getting one a couple of weeks ago when my honeybun had his done up. The only thing that stopped me was the placing of said tat. I know that some peeps regard tats as "ghetto" or "white" or whatever..but I say..FUG THAT!

My O'odham ancestors used tattoos back in the day for a woman's puberty ceremony..old skool with cactus needles. 4 dots on the sides of her face near her eyes. Beautiful.

I have 4 tattoos. Each one means something very significant to me. I do not understand people who tattoo themselves with passing fancy's such as flowers, their names (dont you know who you are?), or Tony the TIger. To each his own yes..but MAN, this is on your for life yo. All my tats are in strategic places on my body that no one has to see...meaning, you will see if only if I let you. I have always wanted a tatoo behind my ear or directly on the middle back of my neck, but for professional reasons I have held back. Will this change? Maybe...But I also remember that when I get Older I will have to answer for these beauty marks on my body..and I do now want to look "somehow" when I become older.

My parents do not like them...which I do understand. When I am in thier company, out of respect, I cover myself to keep their eyes free. I understand that people do not understand the art that is tatooing, but I have loved it and continue to love it.

To be continued..

CONTINUED:.

I am a tattoed fool.

I remember back in the day when my friends would tattoo the names of their "crushes"..the would do so by writing their said crushes names in ink over and over again until this would break the skin, then open the end of a ink pen and pour the ink in. EWWWW. The tattoo, if miraculously it did not get infected, would then proceed to the lovely shade of blobby blue and creep outward into the skin so all you could see was a smudgy smear of maybe a letter? It was all to stalkerish for me then, I mean we were 12 years old.

Anywho..the idea of tattoos was a love born out of Anthony Kiedes..ya know, lead singer of the Red HoT Chillipeppers..Awww..He was my second crush, after Christian Slater. "SIGH"..anywho, I loved how his tats looked and how they seemed to make his body even more beautiful and distinctive. I was bit. I wanted a body beautiful too. Decorated in ink and meaning forged in pain. The ultimate sacrifice..a scar that would remind me everyday of my life what had meaning to me..not that I needed one, but that I felt gave me strength.

I will never say never to a tatoo..or even its idea. As long as it has meaning and thought behind it...

self-rehab

Tonite I am gearing up for my first "WALK" in many moons. As of Thurs. March 9th, I am officially castless and sporting my "PIMA BOOT". I am actually supposed to be still using my crutches, but I have developed an "ILL use em when they dont get in my way" attitude. For realz, you have no idea how hard it is to get around, and simply exist in this world without the use of one leg. Now, add into the mix a healthy 30 lb. or so 22 month old and see how the fun begins. Anywho, I have another appointment next Friday to asses my poor toe and see whether I'm still gonna be a slave to my boot. I have been taking calcium pills like a mutha in the vain hope that this will speed up the healing process. I am SO DYING TO RUN.

I am SO DYING TO BE INDEPENDENT AGAIN.

I was actually so Happy last Thurs when :THEY: gave the ok to get rid of the cast, but then anger followed at the prospect of being tied to this boot for another 2 weeks!

So Im saying screw them and doing my own rehabilitation. I cant help it peepz..I need to move.

Another thing that bummed me out was reading in my now pointless "RUNNERS WORLD", that it takes 2 weeks to get back every week lost to inactivity. So far, I have 12 weeks in my future to get back into the strength that I once was. Aww man, looks like the San Diego Marathon is a distant future memory.., but I am going to run the Disneyland Inaugural Half Marathon in Sept. I believe that I will be able to kick ass and take names there. MY goal for they halfer is to finish under 2:03.

I will be back.

Sunrise..

Home.

I laughed till I cried, ate ACORN STEW!!, remembered what it is to live with no electricity, felt big fat snowflakes on my face, held hands, WALKED in my PIMA NIKE (aka my braced foot), danced with my Son on one leg, felt the pollen hit my face and paint myself with blessings, bought Dance Me Outside and Once Were Warriors at the Pow-wow, drank Shi'Ta'z cowboy coffee, breathed in clean Peridot air, remembered what it feels like to sleep by a hot fire, pulled my hoody over my face and sucked the pinion salt, got my accent back with my crazee BEAUTIFUL Auntie and woman cousins..."WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY over der"..gesturing with hands.., did AUNTIE Voice to my nephews and watched them become lil Boys again when the Gaan came out, snuggled in the backseat and snuck kisses with my "D", ate Chimuth aka BUN all weekend at every meal., bought a big Stick and ate it with my Son, gambled at the Casino and came out $1.50 ahead, wore sweats all day and slept in them too..lol, remembered how to layer up, woke up the sounds of my family waking up and making coffee, feeling my mothers hands on mine, catching up with my bros and the craziness that is all our lives, hearing the drums and songs that I to my surprise remember and know, drinking the hot stuff to warm up, seeing snow on "bucket" and remembering back in the day, throwing puny snowballs packed with sock gloved hands, sleeping in my "Bedroom" that is the living room, taking a shower before everyone else so you get the hot water..hehe., driving in 4 - wheel, ...aahhh..

Home.

POOR ME..SCREW THAT!!

I am reminded again and again that LIFE is what you make it. I could sit and bitch about all the bad things that have happened in my life, but I make/made the choice to move forward and BE HAPPY! I have never wanted to be that person that sits with their head in thier hands and says "POOR ME POOR ME". I want to be that person that says ," Shit, I freaking fell on my ass but now its time for me get back up and dust my buttcheeks off."

I believe that I am a strong person..a person who allows myself to really FEEL all my emotions, I cry, I scream, I pout, I vent, I cuss, I laugh, I emote. I have always been, and to some extent I believe, that I will always be that person who will cry when someone else cries, call out someone who TRIES to make me feel less than human, laugh to the point where everyone in a 50 mile radius looks at me, love like tomorrow is my last, turn beet red (yes there are Skins who do this) when I am embarrassed, I am a slave to my emotions..all you have to do is look at my face to know what I am feeling. I believe that it takes someone truly strong to show what they feel..especially pain. Yes I admit, I have been in "pain" this past couple of weeks..but now the Rainbow is shining down on me..and yes my FRIENDS..I AM BACK!!!