1st impressions

Last nite I was hella tired.

So tired and full of Momma's chicken & rice and homemade biscuits I justed wanted to veg on the couch and watch Young Guns.

Of course, I had to return Mom'z bowl or I would be dead, so I got my bootie up and walked the 50 ft. to her house to return the Kentuky Fried Chicken re-usuable bowl.

On my way there, I was trying to get my words right for a certain person in order to lighten the air around our one-word convo's. But it was not to be, the said person was being carried out the house which for some weird reason totally grossed me out. I think I even said, "GROSS" out loud for them to hear. Its always so weird to see that kinda of mess.

Anywho, the convo was not to be.

What I really want to say is that my first impression of you was less than stellar. You wrote me, I wrote you back with no promises. We go to where we would be, and no time was found to properly establish any kind of relationship, in any sense. Word got back to about things you had said about me and my business (practices) in an unfavorable light. I immediately felt repelled toward you. Of course, this was all second-hand info but was taken from very credible sources. I wrote you off as a child who knew no better, but I never forgot.

I still have not forgotton, hence the tension.

I want to clear the air so to speak, but sometimes I feel that I may go off in a direction that needs not be explored. Once I open this mouth, things I shouldn't say may come out because I know that I do have that meanness in me to hurt. Things that have piled on top of the old news that have made not just a mess, but a whole freaking dirty house.

I tolerate this tension because I have to.

Its not because I am scared to confront you, its because I'm scared of the words that may fall out in the wrong way.

Fugg it. Next time I see you, the truth will set me free.