slow down chick

I've come to realize that I sometimes need to just enjoy the moment and not always plan for tomorrow.

I need to just enjoy NOW, and the beauty that these precious moments hold. I mean, it seems like just yesterday I was 22 years old and thinking that 30 was light years away. Here I am, 30, wondering how the hell the time went so quick..

Yesterday I was footloose and fancyfree, able to go wherever the hell I wanted in a moments notice. Today it takes me about 20 minutes to spontaneously go anywhere, as a 20 mos. old requires more things than I do to just go to the store.

I have always had some sort of goal or objective to get to, to get me to that next big adrenaline rush. So, my life kinda has always been waiting for that next big moment. High school there was of course that adolescent anxiety for the next big boyfriend, dance, party, underage drinking, pep rally, graduation..etc. In college there was of course more of the same, except college actuallty took some sort of mental component in order to pass classes, in addition to, of-age drinking parties, finacial obstacles to be conquered, deadlines to meet, promotions to shoot for, etc.. and of course, GRADUATION.

Been there, accomplished that.

After college, the enevitable job search, the attainment of said "dream job.", meeting of the "one", meeting of the next "ONE", etc. etc etc...

I feel sometimes as though I have reached many of my goals that I have set for myself, personally, physically, educationally. But of course, I want more. When I reach any goal set for myself, I revel in the buildup of meeting that goal. I love the anxiety, the pressure, the drive, the exhileration, the fulfillment that comes with attainment of any goal. Maybe I live to much for the buildup of the goal than attaining the actual goal itself?

I always need something new to strive for. Something new to get my heart racing and my nerves jingling and diet coke coursing through my veins. Am I an adrenaline junkie? Or just a die hard goal driven chica? i dunno..

Of course, there are so many more things that I want to achieve in my life. Masters in Business, producer of my own calender, my ReDLADEE line on par with the big boys of Native Fashion...Native Threads, a 4:00 marathon finisher time, taking my parents to Hawaii, own brand new furniture (ok I could do that but Im kinda a tightwad), re-design and redecorate my house, buy a new door, actually try pilates, own a black Lexus with REDLADEE on the license, become more involved with my Native community here in the Vally - Like actually being on board for one, gettting a second degree in Business Management, learn how to play the guitar and bead, get in a boxing gym an really throw down, dang I guess I got plenty to keep my busy...

Shut me up...

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random as a white rice..

- I was once in a movie..and they had to spraypaint my hair BLACK.

- I can chowdown an entire box of wheat thins in one sitting.

- When I get excited both my accents come out..

- I can count to ten in both my languages.

- I listen to Howard Stern about 4 hrs. a day during the workweek. He cracks me up.

- I was almost named LouAnn.

- I checkout about 7 books on average twice a month from the library.

- I have to force myself to drink H20.

BLAH.