superwoman.

I love my Son from the bottom of my soul.

But, I wonder, am I good enough for him?

I am such a fucked up person, who am I to raise a child? I have so many issues that I do not want to pass on to my Son. He is innocence in a mirror image of me, how do I know what I am doing is right?

I go crazy with thinking I am failing him somehow, someway. I want to give him all of me. But what if all of me is jacked to no end?

WHen I look into his beautiful black eyes, I want him to feel my love for him, and that he is safe. Safe in a way that I will always be here for him, I will always protect him, I will always be that whisper on his lips.

I want to be a better parent than my own, I want to know patience.

Man, there are times when he frustrates me to no end, and I have to walk away, but he knows that I will always be back.

He is my love that is the blood pulsing in my veins, but how do you balence that kind of love?

I think about him all day..and I miss him so much.

I feel guilty for leaving him in the care of others, but dammit, I have to work. I even try to figure out how many hours he spends there as compared to the hours he spends with us.

I feel so guilty for needing "me time", when I feel that I don't spend enough time with my lil Man. I feel guilty when I run long..cause those are hours that are taken away from watching him grow.

How the fuck do you know how to raise a child?

I feel so beat down at times, so frustrated that I am not superwoman.

I just want to do right by my Son.

I want to raise him feeling he is surrounded by love and dances in happiness.

I want to know that I am raising him right.

Whatever that is.